what makes a child bad?

[degohi]

please tell me what you think the criterion are for a child to be labeled "bad". in this society we are quick to label everything from skin color to water - God given water...

how is it determined a child is bad and responsible for his/her own actions? When did the disconnect allow responsibility to be shifted and accountability cast on to this intangible called "society"?

we need to deliver on some convictions that perform a measure of preventive maintenance. television, music, even education with your "bend" to it is damaging and a tool of evil if not monitored and left unchecked.

what steps are needed to remove this syndrome from our communities? how can we best address this problem? what is the impact in our community of having, harboring consistent destructive attitudes that foster a legacy of damaged and hopeless souls?

[Nubianwarrior Queen]

Hotep Family,

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I am the mother of 5 adults children I had, and countless others who I'm a mother figure to, as well as the grandmom to 11 grandchildren, so I'm going speak from what I have seen, been influenced by, and successfully done as a guide for my comment.
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If we use the system of judging "good or bad" behaviour from the dominate group in this country who will have various schools of thought.... i.e. one era in time social norms were be very strict.. and if a child mis-behaved physical punishment would inflicted, even by teachers... I didn't go to catholic school, but in my time, teachers would use a ruler on your hands or take you in coat room... "why"?.....Well. any gettin' out of pocket.. and you were..."bad". Then came Dr. Spoke and his theory on child rearing, it was to let the child express themselves with no limits.... so they didn’t say or label a “bad” child and child discipline became blurred so one knew what "bad" was. It was the parent's responsible to flow with the child... not everyone went along with the program... but for those who did, many new magazines sprung trying to address how do I control my child's behaviour... and they still make money off of that created paradigm in kinds of ways.. like you mention the label “bad” can be used for everything, and can produce it's on market.. so that you see some poeple willing pay for this or that to get it “right”.. whether it's self esteem or self concept, food, sex life, health, education and so on. It’s fear and shamed based and will produce all kinds of struggles in every person who embraces it’s mindset.

Problem: Eurocentric thought is unstable, and thus causing everyone in that mindset to be confused because it focuses on the individual and not the group.. So when we one finds themselves with issue producing feelings regarding what types of discipline should we should use when "Johnny is bored and/or acts out or won't adhere to this or that. What is produced is confusion for both the adult and the child. It doesn't produce constancy so everyday could be a new rule or a new volition of that ever changing rule and children pick up that very early. I also know that we as a people have been influenced greatly by this culture and as such some of us find ourselves with inconsistent rearing of our children often calling them " bad" like it's their name. Children live up to the name we call them, if they know it's expected of them. This model of inconsistency and negative labelling will produce cries for help and pain that we now very clearly can hear and read in the culture, as our children negatively express themselves. Eurocentric, white supremacy doesn't care if a Afrikan in that culture prospers or not, because when it come down to it, they will label our children "bad" and build whole industries from that label…e.g. prisons... drug and alcohol programs... child support court, ….foster care homes,…,,,.alternative schools,... psychotropic drugs, etc to control and profit from that confusion. Now grant it, some of their own are caught up too, however, if we concentrate on what these labels have done in our communities it's more that clear that we can't afford to follow their model.

Solution: We as Afrikan people can't use this confused ever changing faddish models as our standard of what is/is not acceptable. Clearly, we want our child to take their place so that they can pass down generational wisdom. They must be able to imitate what their parents do, as they are onlookers to how we as parents function. When our children see better models they will tend want to imitate because of consistent model of Afrikan village concepts and they will know when they are violating a norm. We should feed their minds and spirits so when our children express themselves in play they will try and work out what they have been fed mentally and spiritual as normal... When they get older, they will want to use positive expressions in the songs and books they write and all kinds of endeavours, and that life source that will express itself in giving honor across the village, and in return would be appreciated by the elders who will be confident as that torch gets passed down. I am proud that after some years of trying and producing inconsistent parenting, I overstood that my DNA held the key, and then I started to see my children as my fruit. I am proud of my children and very proud to see geniuses in my grandchildren… yea it’s beautiful and wondrous thing to see other people who are so much like me without being around me in their day-to-day experience. I mean their temperament, thirst for knowledge and giving spirits, yes and even gestures even as babies and as young children amaze me. I’m always speaking “life” over my children and grandchildren, and trusting wise earthy counsel and ancestral influencing to tell me what “all” my children need in terms of praising, expectation and consequences, of a behaviour. A parent can be humbled at starting over, but to remember that if the right model is used consistently, there will be so many rewards and blessings.


**** Speak consistent Life over your whole family.. it’s the water we all need****

Semhotep